How to tell Friends & Family You Elope
So, you’ve finally made the decision to elope. You’re loving the financial benefits, and the no stress, small wedding you’re going to have in the location of your dreams. But now comes the final step – the one thing that can make people change their mind and go back to the traditional wedding many people expect: telling your family.
Here are some ways that you can reveal your elopement while trying not to hurt anybody’s feelings.
Tell them in advance
Surprise can be difficult to deal with, and people aren’t always so good with change. By telling your loved ones in advance of your plans to elope, you give them time to adjust to the change, and alter their expectations. People often want to go to a traditional wedding so they can be involved in your marriage, so try to involve the most important people in your life in the planning of your dream elopement – by knowing that they’ve contributed, and then seeing the results in your amazing photos on your return, people can get the sense of involvement they would have got from a more traditional arrangement.
Tell the most important people in person
People tend to feel left out when a couple elopes, or like their presence isn’t important to the couple in question, so make time to see the most important people face to face when you announce your plans. Take time to hear what they have to say and explain yourself in person, so nobody feels isolated behind a text message or social media post.
Lead with excitement and speak from the heart
You didn’t make the decision to elope lightly, so don’t treat it as a simple decision. Let your loved ones know just what inspired you to go a more modern route, and what you’re excited about experiencing with your new spouse. Talk about the location, and what a wedding away from home means to both of you. Be honest and people will see that you are making the decision from a place of happiness and hope, not as a way to leave people out of your special day.
Understand why they might be upset about it and try to address their fears
If they’re not immediately happy for you, let them tell you why they’re upset. Address their concerns calmly, making sure they know that there is still the planning stage to come, and that there will be years to celebrate your marriage after you get back. Treat their objections seriously, underlining that you have chosen to elope for rational, optimistic reasons, and not as a personal insult to any particular person.
Plan something which they can be a part of, before or after your wedding.
This could be an engagement party, or even a post-wedding celebration. The important thing is that those who are invited get the chance to celebrate your love in a way they might miss out on due to your elopement. Even if it costs a little extra, an intimate party of your closest friends and family is still much less expensive than a traditional wedding might have been, so you can have your cake and eat it too!
Don’t worry.
Try not to stress about the process. Yes, it takes courage to choose to elope, and some of that comes down to breaking it to your loved ones, but remember that your choices are based on positivity, optimism and your happiness as a couple. People will see that you’ve thought things through, and will be happy for your happiness. Smile and show them how much it means to you to choose a different path.
Take photos and share your stories!
Definitely use the money you’ve saved on the big, traditional wedding at home to hire an amazing photographer for your dream wedding overseas. People will feel more included, and see your reasons for eloping, when they see the amazing photos of you and your partner in a beautiful and meaningful location. Beyond the photos, make sure you tell them about your trip: how the day went; what took your breath away; how excited you were. People can still be involved in your elopement, even if you are alone (or with a small group) on the day itself. Let them share in your joy as you begin your married life.
Whoops! You already eloped and now you have to tell the family?
A lot of this advice is for if you’re planning to elope, but if you’ve already eloped, it’s not too late! Try to tell your family as soon as possible, so they don’t feel like they’ve been left out of the loop for too long, and follow the advice above about involving them in your once in a lifetime experience and all of your reasons behind wanting to elope. Those who want you to be happy will always want the best for you, so relax and show them just how much it meant to you.
